While it's only been a declared federal holiday since 1941, when Congress set Thanksgiving as the fourth Thursday in November, the traditional gathering of family -- and yes, friends -- around a grand meal has been part of the American culture since long before the revolution.
The U.S. National Archives and Records Administration reports that the United States first celebrated a day of thanks soon after the U.S. Constitution was ratified. Following the recommendations of the Congress, President George Washington issued a proclamation naming Thursday, Nov. 26, 1789, as a "Day of Publick Thanksgivin." The tradition continued, though different families and different states chose different dates to celebrate.
Fast forward to the 21st century, and pop culture references have merged the guest list with the holiday name. Researchers at Merriam-Webster's Dictionary reported that the earliest print references of Friendsgiving are found in 2007, as the term was found on Usenet groups and Twitter. Those researchers also note that while the term often is associated with the popular NBC television show "Friends," the word did not originate there.
Merriam-Websters researchers said the term found more national use after it was used in a commercial for Bailey's Irish Cream in 2011. Then it became part of the plot in an episode of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," that aired in June that year. By the way, the episode was called "Gobblefellas." A Google Trends query reveals significant increases in searches for the term starting in 2011.
Wherever and whenever it was used, the definition behind the merged words became a guest list focused on friends instead of family, perhaps because family was far away, or the hosts desired a second celebration, a way to escape family and enjoy friends.
That doesn't mean the family is off the list. Pew Research shows that 73% of Americans believe spending time with family tops all other priorities. Yet, in 2023, nearly a fifth of Americans reported celebrated Friendsgiving. Marketing and researcher specialist Sara Shriber, reporting on the website for polling and marketing firm Civic Science, said the Friendsgiving trend is led by Gen Z.
"Nearly a quarter of Gen Z adults ages 18-24 have either celebrated Friendsgiving this year or plan to," Shriber wrote, "followed by younger millennials ages 25-34 (or 22%).”
With Thanksgiving just a few weeks away, and whether the Friendsgiving plan is a replacement or a second celebration, here some are tips for getting the table set for friends.
1. Plan ahead: Create a holiday-themed invitation and send it to each friend. Well, actually, it can be any type of theme, not just holidays.
2. Get a head count: Have friends RSVP to the event, so there's a clue on how much food to prepare and how many chairs (or napkins) will be needed.
3. Create a menu list: Recommendations focus on potluck plans, and the benefits are greater than just avoiding all that cooking. So, write each friend's name down and the food item they'll bring. Note that the U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends a pound of turkey for each guest, if that's the main dish on the menu. Many recipe and cooking experts recommend the same, or up to a pound and a quarter if the guests are likely to be hungry. A major benefit to a Friendsgiving potluck is that guests might be coming from different cultures and traditions, bringing new, untried or exotic side dishes to share.
4. Find the space: Be sure to find a location large enough for the party. No one wants to sit at the kids table during a Friendsgiving.
5. Decorate: While it's not usually a formal occasion, neither is Friendsgiving a run-of-the-mill pizza night. So, visit the malls and grocery stores to find decorations for a festive environment -- and consider the theme from step one.
6. Party Ideas DIY: Arts and crafts stores can help with the activities. Examples include a “Thanks Board,” allowing guests to write down what they are thankful for, and share it on the board. Or, after everyone has identified what they're thankful for, have guests write on a glass plate, naming something they want to leave behind. Then give everyone the opportunity to shatter that plate.
7. Playlist: Create a fun playlist for background music as friends participate in the planned activities.
8. Let it go: Once the party starts, stop worrying about the details. Instead, enjoy the time with friends. Have fun and create memories.
Good luck. Thanksgiving is Nov. 28. Anyone planning to be a Friendsgiving host should already be on step one.
