To me, and, I imagine, most, the American Thanksgiving holiday and its meal conjures a consistent mental image. A turkey with stuffing, roasted in the oven or prepared by some overzealous uncle with a (hopefully) outdoor deep fryer. A side of mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables of some sort completes the meal.
Which is kind of funny when you think about it.
Thanksgiving is held on a different day each year. While it is always the fourth Thursday of the month, that date can be anything from Nov. 22-29. That’s an entire week’s worth of change. Interestingly, several other “American Holidays," such as Martin Luther King Day, Labor Day and Memorial Day, also follow this pattern.
That’s kind of emblematic, though, of the American way. Everything is done a little differently because everyone is a little different. And despite the fact that for most, Thanksgiving means turkey and stuffing, that's not the case for everyone. When I was asking people around campus and around town about any weird or non-traditional Thanksgiving recipes, just about everyone had a different answer for what the holiday is for them.
Thanksgiving, at least the American version of it, is celebrated on a variety of days by a variety of people for more than its fair share of reasons. Of course, some don’t celebrate with their family. Many have a “Friendsgiving," where they have a potluck with their friends instead of family.
Maybe you’re like my family and you don’t like turkey in the first place. So you have a prime rib, smothered in salt and pepper and seasoned so that the outside turns into a nice crunchy bark. My dad would bring mashed potatoes he’d practically turned to soup with all the butter. A family friend from the neighborhood would bring anything from funeral potatoes (cheesy potatoes with cornflakes on top — I’m told it's a Southern thing) to sweet potato and marshmallow casserole. My sister always makes stuffing, even though she’s the only one who eats it.
Or maybe Thanksgiving means a Polish dinner for your family, complete with sausages, pierogies and sauerkraut, like my boss. It could be that you’re like my coworker, and Thanksgiving is more associated with a nice honey-glazed ham than a roast turkey.
Of course, there are always people who can’t, or won’t, eat meat. My mentor and his family have a mixed Thanksgiving with pomegranate-glazed crispy tofu and balsamic-agave brussel sprouts for his wife, right alongside his son’s homemade tamales. There’s still apparently a turkey in there somewhere on the table because, well, it’s tradition.
But that’s the thing about Thanksgiving. It’s a holiday where traditions change not only with time, but with whom you celebrate. Our advisor had to sneak sweet spaghetti to her first Thanksgiving with her in-laws because they wanted to handle all the cooking themselves. Her entire life, Thanksgiving had been a communal affair. Suddenly, no other food was allowed. But she brought some anyway, ready to brave whatever storm. Nowadays, she brings extra portions for people to take home.
This year will be my first year not back home for Thanksgiving, and I won’t even be celebrating on the actual day. But I’ll be with my family, surrounded by people I care for and who care for me, and that’s the only real recipe to Thanksgiving that matters.
The mix of people you’re with and the wonderful meal you’ll have together aren't always going to be the same, but the feeling should be.
