I had written last week of the struggle for straight allies to embody both their support of LGBTQA peoples and their faith in the sight of most modern day Christians. But while those voices need to be heard, it is horrible that someone would accept that voice – of the straight, Christian ally – over those of LGBTQA Christians. Neither voice seems to be given much credit to the doctrines of the church, but those actually identifying as anything except straight/cis-gender seem to me to be seen as letting their “desires of the flesh” out-weigh “God’s plan for their lives.”
I believe there are some basic things that the Church is ignorant about when it comes to their LGBTQA brothers and sisters.
First is the fact that these people – LGBTQA Christians – exist. I have heard too many sermons spoken in a harsh, black-and-white “Us vs. Them” mentality that leads me to the conclusion that whoever is speaking must certainly be convinced that he/she is speaking to a completely straight/cis-gender congregation. This is far from the case. It is this very unwavering attitude towards “deviance” that makes LGBTQA Christians sink further into their shells and end up giving in to conforming to heteronormativity, leaving the Church where they are supposed to find support or spiraling into self-hatred that too often ends with them taking their own lives.
Second, even if the church realizes the diversity in its pews, the idea that, much like their straight allies, LGBTQA Christians are not “real” Christians is extremely hypocritical. Even if some consider same-sex relationships and non-cis identities to be sinful, one unravels the truth of grace by “pointing out the speck in your brother’s eye without noticing the log in your own” (Matt.7:3).
It is important to note – to those who may be unaware – that not even all LGBTQA Christians agree on the controversy of relationships, often identifying with side A or side B: Those who believe God to condone relationships and those who feel God has called all to celibacy respectively. It is impossible for most straight/cis-gender Christians to imagine how pressured LGBTQA Christians feel to say they are side B just to be closer to that “real Christian” label to earn respect. But this shouldn’t have to be the case. Some churches have begun implementing an idea called “The Third Way” which basically calls the church to recognize the need to agree to disagree.
This is what the church needs to be doing. While the church needs time to authentically change its stance on the LGBTQA communities’ issues, to recognize the fact that these people are sitting in their pews, absorbing hurt from the pulpit because they don’t want to give up on Jesus—even if they’ve given up on the doctrines of the church—and to stand equal with them in honest love and inclusion is a vital first step. We may remain identifying with side A or side B for decades more, but to live in respect with one another will be the foundation that change will be grounded upon.
