1 out of 4 Stars
It’s always fun to open up a movie review with a spoiler.
Did you know that the Will Smith/Jaden Smith adventure movie “After Earth” is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan? After his poorly received “Avatar: The Last Airbender” and “The Happening,” his name is now synonymous with failure. Besides checking RottenTomatoes.com to verify this, just look at the marketing for “After Earth.” Shyamalan’s name is nowhere to be found. Even the title, “After Earth” has zero opening credits. How paranoid were the producers? Did they really think people would see the name “Shyamalan” and bolt for the exits? That would make for an interesting experiment actually, to veil a movie’s writer and director right up until you pay. I wonder how many people would U-turn out of the theater and ask for a refund. Sadly, we’ll never know.
In “After Earth,” Jaden Smith plays Kitai Raige, a young man desperate to win the approval of his usually stoic and occasionally abrasive father named Cypher Raige played by Will Smith. Kitai attempts to become a Ranger like his dad (pronounced “ranga’” with Jaden’s in-and-out British-y accent). Father and son, through a massive guilt trip perpetuated by mom (Sophie Okenedo), find themselves on a spaceship in the hopes of exploration or something.
The plane blows up because of some meteor/gravity level fiasco, eventually leading to the crashing of the spaceship. Dad wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, so he goes airborne and breaks both of his legs. Son had his strap on, so as the only survivor of the crash with fully-functioning legs, he sets out alone into the jungles of Earth to find a distress beacon so they can hail for help and go back to that other planet the Earthlings inhabit now.
Obstructing Kitai’s path are a barely breathable atmosphere, mountainous terrain, blood thirsty animals and one terrifying alien that looks like the love child of an orca and a giant spider. Although blind, these aliens, which were “bred to extinguish human life” can sense and track humans through the pheromones we release when frightened. One of these aliens is brought on board the spaceship for a ghost training exercise but obviously it escapes containment after the crash. The only way to evade these nightmarish creatures is through “ghosting,” or conquering fear. Cypher is the best ghost out there, but will his son be able to ghost, too?
The movie did little to explain why such a dangerous alien would be brought on board the ship. And there must have been some other way to practice conquering fear, perhaps through a Stephen King book or boggart from Harry Potter? It made no sense, but the monster was a visual treat that I will look back on fondly.
I’ve seen my fair share of Hollywood monsters, and Shyamalan’s creation here is definitely one to be reckoned with. It seems most of the visual arts budget was burned up on the alien since the other CGI animals in the movie look like “Jumanji” rejects. The most laughable visual in the movie was Shyamalan’s depiction of the crashed spaceship. Scenes of the ship’s eviscerated hull looked like they were designed by Buddy from “Elf.” Who knew that spaceships were insulated by construction paper snowflakes?
Perhaps the strangest decision of the movie is the blasphemous removal of Will Smith’s wit and charm. Who can forget Will punching an alien in “Independence Day” and announcing “Welcome to Earth!”?
Who can forget Will donning the last suit he’d ever wear and saying “I make this look good” in “Men in Black.” I pray that I can forget Will uttering the cringe inducing line about how his son should “Remember your power; this is your creation” or “Take a knee” because a genuflection is all it takes for a clear head.
There are a few correlations between “After Earth” and the alien movie “Signs.”
When Kitai finds the distress beacon he can’t get reception with the deluxe walkie-talkie until he gets to a higher elevation and points it skyward (station-wagon baby monitor scene from “Signs”) When the alien first encounters Kitai ,it’s in a field of grain (corn field scene from “Signs”), Kitai is nearly torn apart by a gang of evil baboons that outnumber him 50-1. Water is Kitai’s salvation (“Signs,” again?)
Unfortunately, unlike in “Signs,” the kid in this movie couldn’t handle the material. Jaden’s Piglet squeal of a voice is far from ideal for delivering Shyamalan’s preachy dialogue. I blame the writing more than I do Jaden because I’ve watched the kid hold his own in movies like “The Karate Kid” remake.
Overall, the bright spots of the movie — anything with the alien or a scene where Kitai evades a giant eagle by jumping off a cliff in a flying-squirrel suit — get lost amid an unbelievably humorless Will Smith, corny dialogue, clichéd plot and lackluster a special effects team.
