In spite of our habit of applying labels and placing people into categories in order to make sense of things, doing so doesn’t portray an individual accurately. People are very complex, and our identities and state of minds are made up of different feelings, experiences, hopes and beliefs.
No person identifies with only one organization, culture, religion or any other category. We are not defined by only one or another; rather, we are a unique blend of everything to which we have a connection.
Two communities I have a connection to are my Muslim faith and American identity. Most of the time, the two are indistinguishable. However, as with any two groups, there are occasionally times when the norms of faith and culture differ. When this happens though, all that needs to be found is a balance of the two with a little bit of creativity.
One example of this situation is a seemingly simple action: a handshake. Islam is socially conservative in terms of gender relations in order to prevent temptation and fooling around outside of marriage.
To keep any interactions appropriate, there is a no-touch rule for members of the opposite sex. Handshakes, which involve contact, fall under this rule.
Many people understand this rule differently and each person has their own personal boundaries, which is why some Muslims will hug, others only shake hands, and still others won’t make contact at all.
My decision to fall into the last category was recent. I had previously shaken hands and high-fived members of the opposite sex, but I had trouble maintaining lines that would keep blurring.
How could I shake someone’s hand, then prevent them from patting me on the arm or shoulder, prevent them from throwing an arm around me, hugging me, and so on? It was getting uncomfortable, past my comfort zone, and I decided it would be easiest to eliminate the whole problem.
Soon after my decision, I attended LeaderShape, a really wonderful program Campus Life puts on. I met a lot of great people, but while doing introductions, I couldn’t shake hands with any of the guys. I felt badly about not being able to make contact, but I also didn’t want to compromise my beliefs.
Inspiration struck, and air actions were born! We would air-five and air-hug.
This got the message across and made everyone comfortable. It also opened up the floor, so people weren’t unsure about approaching me, and questions and conversations began to flow. And, it was fun! Guys see me now, and respecting I like my space, immediately air-five me or greet me by some other air action.
By means of creativity and open-mindedness, a middle ground was developed where I was within the bounds of my faith while maintaining the norms of my American identity.
My fellow students can appreciate the fact I am Muslim, and also American, and the two are not mutually exclusive.
Despite the media’s attempt to impart a distorted image of Islam, American values and Islamic values are not at odds with each other.
Rather, they support each other and give me a solid foundation to begin to improve myself as a person who has the best parts of both worlds.
